Traumatic events like natural disasters can leave children feeling frightened, confused, and insecure. Whether a child has personally experienced trauma, has seen the event on television, or has merely heard it discussed by adults, it is crucial for parents and educators to be informed and ready to help if stress reactions begin to occur.
Children respond to trauma in many different ways. Some may react very soon after the event; others may do fine for weeks or months and then begin to show troubling behavior. Understanding common signs at different ages can help parents and teachers recognize problems and respond appropriately.
Preschool age
Children from 1-5 years old find adjusting to change and loss particularly hard. These youngsters have not yet developed their own coping skills, so they must depend on parents, family members and teachers to help them through difficult times.
Very young children may regress to an earlier behavioral stage after a traumatic event. Preschoolers may resume thumb-sucking or bed-wetting or become afraid of strangers, animals, darkness or "monsters." They may cling to a parent or teacher or become very attached to a place where they feel safe.
Changes in eating and sleeping habits are common, as are unexplainable aches and pains. Other symptoms to watch for are disobedience, hyperactivity, speech difficulties and aggressive or withdrawn behavior. Preschoolers may tell exaggerated stories about the traumatic event or refer to it repeatedly.
Early childhood
Children from 5-11 years old may have some of the same reactions as younger children. They also may withdraw from playgroups and friends, compete more for parents' attention, fear going to school, allow school performance to drop, become aggressive or find it hard to concentrate. These children may also return to childish behaviors, such as asking to be fed or dressed.
Adolescence
Children from 12-14 years old are likely to have vague physical complaints when under stress and may abandon chores, school work or other responsibilities they previously handled. Though they may compete vigorously for attention from parents and teachers, they may withdraw, resist authority, become disruptive at home or in the classroom or begin experimenting with high-risk behaviors such as alcohol or drug use.
These young people are at a developmental stage in which the opinions of others are significant. They need to be considered "normal" by their friends and are less concerned about relating well with adults or participating in family activities they once enjoyed.
In later adolescence, teens may experience feelings of helplessness and guilt because they are unable to assume full adult responsibilities as the community responds to the traumatic event. Older teens may deny the extent of their reactions to the traumatic event.
How to help
Reassurance is the key to helping children through a traumatic time. Very young children need a lot of cuddling and vocal support. Answer questions about the event honestly, but do not dwell on frightening details or allow the subject to indefinitely dominate family or classroom time. Encourage children of all ages to express emotions through conversation, writing or artwork and find a way to help others affected by the event.
Try to maintain a regular household routine, and encourage children to participate in recreational activities. Temporarily reduce your expectations about performance in school or at home, perhaps by substituting less demanding responsibilities for everyday chores.
Acknowledge that you, too, may have reactions associated with the traumatic event, and take steps to promote your own physical and emotional healing.
Tips for talking to children after a traumatic event
Provide children with opportunities to talk about what they see on television and ask questions.
Answer questions at a level the child can understand.
Provide ongoing opportunities for children to talk. They probably will have more questions as time goes on.
Use this as an opportunity to establish a family emergency plan. Feeling that there is something you can do may be very comforting to both children and adults.
Allow children to discuss other fears and concerns about unrelated issues. This is an excellent opportunity to explore these issues also.
Monitor children's television watching. Some parents may wish to limit their child's exposure to graphic or troubling scenes. Be present when your child is watching news coverage of the event to the extent possible. It is at these times that questions might arise.
In addition to the tragic things they see, help children identify good things, such as heroic actions, families who unite and share support and the assistance offered by people throughout the community.
When talking isn't enough
More active interventions may be required for some children, particularly if they are more directly affected by the traumatic event.
The family, as a unit, might consider counseling. Traumatic events often reawaken a child's fear of the loss of parents (frequently a child's greatest fear) at a time when parents may be preoccupied with their own practical and emotional difficulties.
Families may choose to permit temporary regressive behavior. Several arrangements may help children separate gradually after the agreed-upon time limit: spending extra time with parents immediately before bedtime, leaving the child's bedroom door slightly ajar and using a nightlight.
Many parents have their own fears of leaving a child alone after a traumatic event or other worries they may be unable to acknowledge. Parents often are more able to seek help on the children's behalf and may use the children's problems to ask for help for themselves and other family members.
Teachers also can help children with art and play activities, as well as by encouraging group discussions in the classroom and informational presentations about the traumatic event.
These tips and strategies can help you guide your children through the current crisis. If you feel stuck or overwhelmed, you may want to consider talking to someone who could help. A licensed mental health professional, such as a psychologist, can assist you in developing an appropriate strategy for moving forward.
