Returning to work after a traumatic event can be very difficult, especially if the traumatic event occurred at work. Many employees experience grief, stress, uncertainty and fear as they return to their place of employment. These are all typical reactions after trauma. Here are suggestions to help you attend to your own needs and those of co-workers during this difficult time.
Coping with feelings of grief, stress and fear
Seek help if you are experiencing any negative reactions to the traumatic event. These may include sleep disturbances, flashbacks, appetite changes, anxiety, or depression. Don't be embarrassed about your feelings or view them as a sign of weakness. Strong emotional reactions to trauma are common; seeking professional assistance can help you get through these heightened reactions more quickly. Contact your HR department, employee assistance program (EAP), or healthcare provider for a referral.
Remember that feelings of fear and uncertainty are common, especially if the event occurred in or near your workplace or directly affected your organization and the people with whom you work. These feelings will ease with time and require patience on everyone's part. Many people find that being around co-workers and focusing on work provides support and comfort after a crisis.
Don't expect too much of yourself at first. You may feel less motivated than usual or have less energy. You may have trouble concentrating or staying focused. You may feel very emotional and cry or tear up unexpectedly. Or you may feel little of anything. These feelings are typical and are part of the recovery process following a trauma.
Find a "buddy" at work so you can support one another. Talking with or reaching out to someone who has had a shared experience can be helpful and rewarding for both of you.
Talk with your manager about returning to work in "steps" if going back full-time seems too overwhelming. Following a traumatic event, some people may need to return to work gradually. They may need to go into the workplace, walk around and see people and then return the next day for only part of the day.
Talk about your fears with friends and relatives. The people close to you may also have concerns about your return to work. (Is it too soon? Will you be safe?) It's important to talk about everyone's fears and concerns. Stay in touch throughout the day, if possible. And keep talking together about these and other concerns if they arise.
Expect that not everyone will understand exactly what you're going through. Unfortunately, when others don't have a similar experience, it is hard for them to fully understand your reactions or feelings. They may even tell you, "It's now time to get over it." Remind others and yourself that everyone deals with traumatic events differently, and there is no specific timeline or right or wrong way to grieve.
Bring comforting photos or other items to work. Looking at a calming photo or having items associated with good memories on your desk can be very soothing.
Take breaks at work. For a change in your environment during your break or at lunchtime, go for a short walk alone or with someone else. You can also talk with a co-worker or call a friend or family member for a few minutes to get additional support throughout the day.
Talk with your manager if you need time alone or time off or are having trouble coping at work. Your manager and other people may not know what you need or how best to help you unless you tell them. If you aren't sure what would be helpful to you during this time, ask others if they have any concrete suggestions that have helped them when they've gone through a difficult time.
You may be surprised at your reactions, as well as the reactions of others. You cannot know how you will react until you are involved in a traumatic event. People can react in unexpected ways. Someone you thought might be very stressed may have been very strong, while someone else you thought might be a "rock" may have been extremely distressed and had difficulty coping.
Try to eat well, get enough sleep, and exercise regularly. Having a routine and taking care of yourself can help you to return to a more balanced life. Exercise is beneficial because physical exertion helps your body return to a regular routine after all the physiological changes that happen when involved in a traumatic event. Just be careful not to push yourself, and talk with your healthcare provider before starting an exercise program for the first time.
Remember that healing takes time. It may take some time to adjust following a traumatic event or the loss of a co-worker. Many people experience different emotional reactions over time as they cope with the trauma. You may even find that you've become impatient and angry with yourself and others, so try to be patient and understanding during the healing process.
Look at how you have handled other traumatic events in your life. Remind yourself of other times in your life when you have been resilient. Think back to what worked in the past so that you can use those skills to help comfort you now.
Ways to support your co-workers
Following a traumatic event, you and your co-workers will heal more quickly if you reach out to and support each other.
Try not to pass judgment on how you or your co-workers reacted or compare how you are all grieving and coping. Some people cope by returning to work immediately and are comforted by their everyday routines and "business as usual." Other people feel that they can't come back to work right away. Everyone copes differently after a traumatic event. People who have shown no outward reaction at first may feel intense grief and sadness at later times, while someone else who had a severe emotional reaction from the beginning can often find the strength later on, to be supportive of others.
Let your co-workers know that you're available to talk and listen. Even if you haven't had a similar experience, don't feel the same way, or don't feel you have the "right answers," listening to someone's concerns and experiences can heal the person.
Ask how you can help. Volunteer to share rides to work, pitch in with a project, or run errands if a co-worker has been deeply affected by the trauma.
If you are concerned about how a co-worker reacts, first share your concerns with the individual. Sometimes people aren't aware of how they are coping with a situation until they talk about it themselves or when others share their observations of how they feel the person is doing. Tell the person you are concerned, ask how you can help and even offer suggestions of how you'd like to be helpful. If the person doesn't seem to improve over time, you can share your concerns with your manager or human resources (HR) representative.
Share what you know about helpful resources. Share information about helpful resources offered through your company, such as your EAP or elsewhere in your community.
